Donate Life Wisconsin

STORIES OF HOPE

Larry's Story

“You Know I Love You Mom”
Written by, Debra Griffin, Larry’s mother

The morning started out as usual. The kids were arguing over the radio and who was going to listen to what on which station. Larry being the eldest of seven, well, he pretty much thought things should be his way.

“Mom Larry took my CD out and put his in.”

“Larry, please let Cedric listen to his CD first and then you can put yours in, now leave my room.”

By the afternoon, the boys were done with their chores and ready to hit the streets. Larry, Cedric and his friend Ferris were on their way to a friend’s house, which was okay with me. The boys knew what their curfew was, and followed the rules from time to time. Every now and then Larry would be a little late with curfew and a logical excuse was always handy!

Everyone carried on with their day. We were having a birthday BBQ for a friend at Auntie Rachel’s home, only three minutes from my home. At 10:45 pm a call came from Larry saying, “Mom we are going to be 15 minutes late.” I said “Larry you have 15 minutes for you and Cedric to either get home or come over to Auntie Rachel’s for the birthday party.” Larry said, “Mom, you know I love you.” To which I replied, “don’t play, boy.” “Mom you know I love you, right?” was Larry’s next statement. “Let me speak to Cedric” was my last request to him before the phone went dead. Two minutes later I received a call from an unusual telephone number. It was my son Cedric telling me that Larry had been hit by a car. I literally flew out of the house and immediately saw several police cars racing up Raymond Road. I too sped up.

When I arrived at the scene, the officer asked for my identification. After confirming it was me, I watched over the officer’s shoulder as they threw a white sheet over my son. It was at that moment that something within me died too.

Larry was a people person. He made friends wherever he went and he loved to cook, but never liked to clean the kitchen. He especially loved our dog Queen. In fact, she slept with Larry. When Larry died, Queen knew that something and someone special to her was gone. He left behind a lot of people that love him dearly. Larry’s memory is something everyone tries to keep alive through jokes and the silly little things he did in life.

I remember Larry asking me about organ and tissue donation one day. He said he would gladly give me his knees so the pain I have in mine would be gone. When asked whether or not I would consent to sharing his tissue with others, I knew it was what Larry would have wanted to do.

Of Larry’s 19 years, six months and seven days on earth, I only had him with me for three years and seven days before he was to turn 20 years old. (07/04/89 – 06/27/09)

I never said “I love you” back to Larry that night. I wish I could take it all back. Larry, my love and heart is always with you!

Kari and Eric Barlament's Story

Kari and Eric Barlament were celebrating one of life’s greatest joys – preparing for the birth of their first child – when tragedy struck their family. While on the way to the store to shop for baby items, their car was hit head-on after another motorist drifted across the centerline.

Kari emerged with only broken bones and her pregnancy undisturbed. But her husband Eric was gone forever.

The 31-year-old had pledged to become an organ and tissue donor, and he often encouraged other family members to do the same. Kari worked with a funeral director to carry out her husband’s wishes and consented to donate his bone, heart valves, veins and tendons.

"Eric was so generous," Kari says. "He believed that when we die and don’t need our organs and tissue, we should help someone else."

The Barlaments’ healthy daughter, Erica, was born in 2003 on her father’s birthday, September 5.

Kari helped raise awareness of tissue donation by being one of 22 people riding on a special 2003 Rose Bowl Parade float sponsored by the National Coalition on Donation (now called Donate Life America). She was the only rider whose story focused exclusively on tissue donation.

Nona's Story

When the doctor told Nona that her kidneys had lost 75% of their function and she needed to go on the kidney transplant list, she couldn’t believe it. She felt fine. Yes, maybe she was a little tired, but she quickly got used to doing peritoneal dialysis four times a day. Three years later, when the call came that a kidney was finally available, Nona almost passed up the gift of life because she said she felt fine. The transplant coordinator immediately responded. “You’ve convinced your head that you’re fine, but your body isn’t fine. Years of dialysis take their toll, and until you get a new kidney, your body won’t know what ‘fine’ feels like.”

After her successful kidney transplant, Nona really is fine. She now helps others diagnosed with kidney disease make informed choices about their treatment options, demonstrating that through organ transplantation, life truly can be fine again.

Merritt's Story

Merritt Douglas Healy was my child, my son and my purpose in life. He was a wonderful, easy baby, a comedic, sensitive child, and a wonderfully thoughtful teen and young man. We had a wonderful relationship. He was more than my son; he was my companion and my best friend.

People of all ages were drawn to him. He never could understand why people always wanted to be his friend and why people made a big deal over his looks; he was humble that way. He was always there for his friends, whether they needed help moving, help working on their cars or they just needed to talk. He was a great listener and was more mature, which is why everyone wanted his advice. When he was 15 he met the love of his life, Katie. They were together for five years. I’m glad that he got to experience that kind of love.

His motto was “LIVE LIFE” and that is what he did. Whatever he was interested in, he tried. He was a skateboarder, biker and snowboarder when he was young. He was into cars and motorcycles when he was older. He also loved to cook and try different foods. We ate dinner together almost every night whether we ate in or out. I kept telling him he needed to go to culinary school, but because he wanted to help people he wanted to be a police officer instead.

On June 7, 2007 at 3:18 a.m. my life changed forever; my son was involved in a motorcycle accident. Despite wearing his helmet, my son did not survive. While sitting with my son after his death in the hospital ER, I decided my son couldn’t die without a reason; that I needed to donate his eyes and tissue so he could live on. My son was a giving person and would have wanted that. In fact we had discussed it just days before at dinner, because of the transplant plane that had crashed in Lake Michigan June 5th on its way to Michigan with donor organs.

As I said, my son’s motto was “LIVE LIFE”…..and that’s what he’s been able to do; in just one year he’s helped over 43 people and he’s still not finished. He’s helped people from ages 12 to 90 with everything from bone donations for neck fusions to skin donations for breast reconstruction and tendon donation for an ACL reconstruction. Those people now get to live a better quality of life with his help and donations. My purpose in life has now become to educate people of the importance and benefits of tissue donation….this way my son’s legacy will go on.

Lovingly submitted by his mother, Wendy Healy.

Tim Herman's Story

Kris Herman (pictured left) and Kim Stege (pictured right) share a special connection. During a ski accident Kim tore her anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), which is a piece of connective tissue that helps hold the knee joint together. Her biggest support came from another athlete: Tim Herman, a husband and father who died of a ruptured brain aneurysm. Tim’s donated gift of a tendon helped speed Kim’s recovery and propelled her to become a donor herself. “I am genuinely happy for Kim’s successful knee surgery and that Tim could help make that happen,” said his wife Kris. Kris serves on many donor family committees and helps support other donor families who gave the gift of life.

Mike's Story

It’s been five years. Five years of laughing and playing with my son and daughter. Five years of sharing life with my beautiful wife. Five years of miracles. Five years of being in better health than ever before.

As I write this, there are over 100,000 people waiting for transplants in the United States. I’m one of the blessed ones. Five years ago I received my kidney/pancreas transplant.

I remember being on the other side, being one of those 100,000. I remember wondering if I would have to go on dialysis. Wondering if I would ever get my energy back so I could play with my kids again. Wondering what would happen if I didn’t get the transplant I needed. What if I ran out of time? It can be a sad and scary place.

But I had a hero. Annie Sarah Fleming had decided to be an organ donor, and her decision turned my life around.

For the first time in 30 years I wasn’t diabetic. I had energy and no more diet restrictions. More importantly, after taking life for granted most of my life, it wasn’t going to happen any more.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The timing itself of my transplant was a miracle. The doctor said my kidneys had declined so fast that I would have needed to start dialysis that day were it not for the transplant. I was blessed to be at UW Hospital at all. If I had gone with the hospital my kidney doctor was associated with, I would have spent at least two more years waiting for my transplant.
This was the beginning at my second chance at life.

From experience, I can tell you the time you spend “working extra” away from your family isn’t worth it. I appreciate my wife and children so much more. I don’t take God for granted any longer either. The surprise revelation of going through something like this is so much more than being healthy, it’s finding out how simple life is.

Love God and your family and make a difference in people’s lives. That’s it. Don’t sweat the rest of it. Life’s too short not to enjoy it.

My family now hikes, plays games, and dreams together. We have so much fun. Fun I didn’t have energy to have before the transplant. We are so thankful.

My story is a happy one thanks to Annie.

I wish I could say that for every sad and scary story, there was a hero to save them. There’s not…but there could be. Become an organ donor. Tell your friends. Tell your relatives. Tell complete strangers. Tell them they can be like Annie.
Tell them they can be a hero.

David's Story

“All he ever did was give and when he was gone, he gave some more.” This quote sums up the story of David.

On June 12, 2007, during a routine training exercise, David collapsed between evolutions from a massive heart attack. His brother firefighters were unable to revive him. He was 42 years old. The decision of organ and tissue donation was never a hesitation. He will continue to save! David’s true love was the fire department. It started at a very young age. His father was a member of the Monroe Fire Department. He was the youngest of four children and sought every opportunity to go the firehouse with his father. He would race on his bike to see the fire trucks responding to calls. He insisted on hearing complete details when his Dad returned from a call.

Following in the footsteps of his father, uncles and cousins, David joined the department in October 1986 at the age of 22. He wore badge number 38 with honor. David found his passion in vehicle extrication. He had the never-ending desire to help those in need. He became an instructor for hundreds of firefighters, EMT’s and first responders on vehicle extrication skills and techniques to save lives on our roadways.

David enjoyed the little things. He volunteered to walk the field when deer hunting so the others with him would have the chance to see one first – acting silly and telling terrible jokes to make you roll your eyes and laugh at him – those lengthy detailed “I have looked up the information and just want your opinion” conversations that made you just want to get up and walk away – his family and friends knew they were secondary to the call to duty. We were always OK with it.

Father – Ken, Mother – Dottie, Sons – Derek and Jacob, Daughter – Danielle, Sisters – Ruth Ann and Linda, Brother – Mark, Brother in laws – Joe and Mark, and Nephews – Hans, Mark and Lance. We miss you!

Joshua Fischer's Story

Our son Josh gave us so many gifts in his life; gifts of love, friendship, joy and laughter. Josh’s last gift to others was of his tissue donation, which we hope will continue the lives of his recipients. We know how grateful we would have been if he could have been saved by a donor.

- The Family of Joshua Fischer (Jan. 18, 1986 - Aug. 11, 2007)

Phyllis' Story

Lovingly submitted by Phyllis' husband, Jim

Phyllis and I were enormously blessed with over 50 years of marriage. Through our loving partnership we were fortunate to have four marvelous children (two sons, two daughters). Phyllis was not only my best friend but the love of my life. She was the sweetheart of my soul. She was the most giving person I have ever known. She would do anything for anybody at anytime or place.

Phyllis was an amazing woman. She had an understated, wry sense of humor. We were out celebrating our 20th anniversary when I told her that once we reached our 25th, she would be off “probation.” She smiled and said she would remember that remark. Upon our 25th anniversary celebration, she announced to the gathered group that she was off “probation,” but that Jim is now on, for the next 25 years! When we celebrated our 50th anniversary, she kindly “removed” me from probation. She then said “Let’s go for 75 – the first 50 were a piece of cake.”

When our kids finished high school, Phyllis went back to school herself to become a registered nurse; graduating at age 40. She went to work at a local hospital as a staff nurse where she stayed for 20 years. She retired only because of severe back problems which required surgery. She missed nursing very much. She was truly a patient advocate and carried this into volunteer work with a local senior center.

Phyllis and I always discussed things openly and frankly; including death. We had an excellent rapport when it came to decision making and truly felt the same about what to do when that horrible day would come for either of us. Our kids knew our wishes as well, so there was clarity on what had to be done when that fateful day would occur. We always kept our estate plan up-to-date, including the advanced directives for healthcare. We always felt because we had been blessed our whole lives, we did not want to linger in a state of vegetation as the quality of our lives was more important than the length. We also agreed that if the opportunity presented itself, we wished to be organ and tissue donors. We wanted to donate to someone so their lives could be saved or enhanced through organ and tissue transplantation.

Phyllis was taken from us suddenly and unexpectedly in February 2007 when she died of a cerebral aneurysm. Her health had been reasonably good and she was in good spirits when I left home to do my thing at the YMCA. In fact, we were kidding each other as to whose turn it was to go grocery shopping. As we often did, we decided we would go together upon my return in about an hour. Within 45 minutes of my departure, I received a phone call from Phyllis’ friend. She told me Phyllis had dropped the phone during their conversation. Her friend called 911 and then called me. I rushed home to find EMS had been there and left. I had to call 911 to find out what hospital she was at, rushed over and found her to be on a ventilator and was told she was brain-dead. I contacted our kids, including one on the West Coast and one on the East Coast, as well as her sisters. She was surrounded by her family when life support was removed. They were able to recover bone and connective tissue, and I've learned that 21 elements of her recovered remains have been processed for transplant to improve someone's life. I know she would be very pleased and happy to know she was continuing her giving ways.

Brian's Story

We all like to think that we would live till we are old and gray. Little do we know how fragile that perception is.

Brian, our amazing middle child, was a blue-eyed wonder, with crazy hairstyles and a smirky smile. He was always in motion and testing the limits of every aspect of his life. He charmed everyone he met. Being only 23, Brian had no reason to think about his life ending. He was just getting started on his version of taking the world by the tail. A junior at MSOE, majoring in Electrical Engineering, he had his own part-time business known as PMS (Property Maintenance Service) and was preparing to close on his first income property.

Our family’s life as we knew it was forever changed on Monday October 6th, 2003. It was a beautiful sunny autumn day. Brian was on his way home from MSOE. He was entering the expressway at 6th and McKinley, where he lost control of his motorcycle. He was thrown from his bike and sustained major trauma to his head.

He arrived at the hospital unconscious, where he remained in a coma for two weeks. Seeing his unmarked body motionless seemed so unnatural. We felt helpless. There was nothing we could do. This couldn’t be happening; Brian was always the strong and fearless one, ready for any challenge.

When it was apparent that the outcome was not good and Brian was not going to recover, we discussed the idea of organ donation. Never having discussed this with Brian and not knowing if he had signed his driver’s license which we did not have, we made the choice. Brian was going to die; nothing was going to change that. While we were in our darkest hour, our choice to donate sustained us through our son’s tragic end. We chose to let adversity transform Brian’s life into something greater. Having him be a donor provided a positive outcome that honored the life he lived.

On Monday evening October 20th, Brian became a hero, giving another chance at life to three people he never knew. Brian had embraced life, living it to the fullest with no regrets. We believe he would have no regrets about the decision we made, knowing he was able to help others to live their lives to the fullest.

Because of our limited knowledge of donation we chose only to donate Brian’s organs. Although that was a significant gift, so many others could have been helped had we been more familiar with the donation process. We would have given his tissue and bone marrow as well.

Most people would like to believe that their existence if the world has made a difference, and when they are gone in some small way they have left their mark. I believe Brian has left his mark on those who are touched by his life; his story and his organ donation. He made a difference in the lives of three people who have renewed life, thanks to his donation.

Life is not measured by what we get, but by what we become.

We make a life by what we give.

Lovingly submitted by his mother, Lynn Baudo.

Dustin's Story

Dustin’s choice to be an organ donor sent his family on a mission to open their hearts to accept and give support to other donor families.

“Dustin’s life bore a great example of his exceptional drive, winning smile and heart,” shares Dustin’s mom, Mary Jo. Dustin, age 23, died from injuries he received in a traffic accident in June of 2005. Dustin’s live-saving gifts included the donation of his heart, liver, pancreas, kidneys and corneas. Through his gifts, Dustin changed the lives of four organ recipients, multiple tissue recipients and hundreds more through the recipient’s family and friends. His choice to be an organ donor sent his family on a mission to open their hearts to accept and give support to other donor families.

“He seemed to know everyone and everyone him knew him as a hard-working, car-loving, adventurous man whose quick, witty remarks brought laughter and ease,” adds Mary Jo.

Extremely motivated, bright and successful, Dustin was strong and healthy. He enjoyed participating in sports and exercising. Driven to succeed, Dustin started his own car audio business at the age of 16. He graduated from Black River Falls High School in 2001 and from Western Technical College in 2005. Dustin worked a professional job as a CNC machinist and owned his own home by the age of 23. He truly lived by his signature motto, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“Dustin had boundless energy and a heart full of love,” says Mary Jo. “He was always willing to help, support and give his all where his friends and loved ones were concerned. His love and laughter brightened our world.”

Dustin’s choice to be an organ donor sent his family on a mission to open their hearts to accept and give support. Mary Jo and Donna, Dustin’s liver recipient, have shared their story of hope and healing at public events. They know that their experience and new-found friendship will have a powerful effect on others.

“Hope and peace are separate from grief,” adds Mary Jo. “Life grows because of Dustin’s influence and gift to others.” .